POETRY

A Letter of Remembrance

by Brianna Ramirez

Dear 4445 Loveland,
Knowing you--even being affiliated with you--was like a party that never ended. 

I was liked, I was protected, and most importantly I felt like I belonged. 

As the years progressed my trust in you grew. 

I saw an eternity, while you saw me as an accessory to the conversation. 

Like most parties, the last hours dragged and left a mess behind. 

You abandoned me when I needed you most.

Having a broken family is hard, but knowing the people you invested so much in could not careless was even harder. 

Three’s a crowd and you taught me that people don’t always know what’s going on in your life, but even if they do they hardly care, they only pretend to care.

Dear Martinez House,
You brought out the outspoken parts of myself. 

You accepted me for who I was, and even when things got ugly you made sure I knew how important I was to you. 

You were funny, and you allowed me to be funny with you. 

What hurts about you is that I never knew what I did wrong, but one day you stopped answering my calls. 

And I wondered why half my friends stopped talking to me. 

You taught me to never get to close too someone because they’ll turn against you sooner or later.

Dear Room 241,
Knowing you felt easy. 

Being able to tell you things was easy.

You made being weird and quirky the best new thing. 

You were perfectly flawed and you weren’t afraid to show that to people. 

I had learned to love sitting in silence just drinking tea and speaking of nonsense. 

With you, running out of ice could be made into a big deal, but I loved that about you. 

With you. nothing was too small. 

Nothing. 

My problem was that I let everyone else get to you before me. 

Because, in all honesty, you don’t know everything. 

You had no idea that I was hurt about hearing you tell everyone else you felt excluded from my life, that I was this brand new disrespectful person you no longer recognized. 

Our problem was communication. 

And what you taught me was immensely heart breaking. 

That it was so easy for you to cut me out of your life, while I saw our small mistake as a temporary state. 

That this distance wasn’t permanent. 

However it became permanent to me when I tried to make things better, and you spit in my face with your silence and indifference. 

A lot of things were easy with you, but accepting your willingness to disregard me so easily from your life wasn’t.

And to quote the movie Ten Things I Hate About You--I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. 

You taught me what true heartbreak is, so thank you.